Actions speak louder than words. But actions are temporary, words are forever

Who hasnt wanted one? By one, I mean a super cute text to wake up to. You know the kind, the one where people basically proclaim their love for you and everything they like about you, they set your days out to a good start. But (yes, a but) I cannot even describe to you how much I would love to wake up to his arm draped over my stomach and to roll over and wake him up with a kiss. Like, damn boy, that is the shit.

I always remember venting to him late at night or at least letting him know I was upset and, more often than sometimes, I would wake up to one of the cutest texts from him that would always make me smile my ass off. He'd always know exactly what to say and how to make me smile but I would much rather have woken up to him by my side, being the big spoon in our spoon train. I've only woken up to him a total of 4 times (not a lot but remember, we've been like this for about 2 months) and those 4 times have all been fab. Cwtching up to him and getting to wake him up with a kiss is just the best thing ever, it makes my tummy tickle. It also made me realise how much I need him in my life.

These two situation have a major difference though. As much as I'm in love with getting to wake up with him, I only get to keep that as a memory. Waking up to the cutest texts that make my heart warm, I can kinda sorta keep. I can save that message and re-read it whenever I feel down and need a bit of a boost, I cant save him sleeping in my bed (even though I wish I could!) So actions do speak louder than words, but actions are temporary and words are forever...

You dont know what love is, youre only 15!

We've all heard our 'elders' say it, as if they've read the rule book of life and love and know the limitations. As if love is a ride and youre a few inches below the 'must be atleast this tall to ride' sign. But, does love have an age limit? Personally, Ive always been a member of the '15 is to young to know what love is' club but recently, I think I'm wrong.

I dont know how to describe it. People always claim you'll find the one and you'll know but Ive always wondered, how will you know? Will there be a magically beam of light shining down from above and landing lightly on their shoulders? Will there be a voice inside your head that goes 'Yo gurl, stop right there. You see that cute little faggot over there? Yeah, that one in the hat. Spend a lot of time on him, he's special'? Now Im not saying Ive found the one, but Ive somebody whos changed my mind about the whole 'too young for love' situation.

You see, when I first met this boy, he was in a relationship, one that had lasted the duration of a year and a half. And maybe... 3 weeks after I met him, the relationship ended. This, oddly, helped us get close, I supported him with the struggles he faced after ending the relationship and he helped me with my struggles (we'll save those for another post) and in the first week of June, our situation changed. We moved from best friends to best friends who made out, a lot and did other stuff too ;) And for me, this was odd. Id never really been interested with a relationship. While all my friends were weaving in and out of relationships, I wanted to concentrate on school but this boy changed all that. He changed me.

At the beginning of July, however, we hit a few bumps. He distanced himself from me. He saw that we were heading into a relationship and, understandly, he was scared. After being single for only a few months and still being kind of hung up on his ex, he doesnt feel ready for a relationship. This breaks my heart, even if I didnt find this out until last week... But thats how I think I know hes special, the fact that finding out he was trying to keep his distance because his feelings for me scared him, hurt me. They made me realise just how much I need him. Its still bizarre to me, that I feel I need him in my life. How my bed feels empty without him cuddling up next to me... How my life feels empty without him by my side...

So having your first love at 15? Yeah, its possible. Having your first love at any age is possible. It just took one boy to make me realise this... I miss him. And even now, a week after arguing and letting everything out. Finding out he distanced himself because his feelings scared him and that 'its better for everyone if he stays single', I miss him like crazy. When you find your first love or the one, you heart will let you know. God damn, it will let you know. The pain and the heartache,  the tearing up at photos and old conversation.  You'll know... And make sure you let them know just how much they mean to you. Remind them, distance makes the heart grow fonder...

Invisable? Wait, what?

So, theres an obvious spelling mistake in my blog name... but is there? Am I just completely and utterly fantastic and unique that had I had spell it that way? No, Im just dyslexic and spelt invisible wrong... but we could keep it so im totally unique and utterly fantastic.... yeah.... I like it thay way

Who am I?

Ive been on this earth for 15 years. I am of the female gender and Im Welsh. This blog will consist of my life... basically. I'll just post about my day and my feelings and shizz so yeah, stick a long for the ride, if ya like. Who am I? I am invisible.

So, hey?

Hey, whoever is bored enough to be reading this. My blog is going to be about my life, Ill just post about things that happen and how I feel, general crap like that. So yeah, I Am Invisible and this is my blog.